Everything's bullshit. I'm so sick of everyone faking nice and being polite and the beautiful people, although it's not their fault they're beautiful, and this singer is melting my brain because she's fucking amazing and so melancholy and I love that word so much, and something just happened and it put me in a slightly manic (in a bad way) mood.
I hate people that leave for no reason, I hate people who break up by text, and I hate people who are shallow and who think they're so goddamn superior. I hate it when the one thing I want is never going to happen, and I hate it when I realise I am a huge hypocrite and I am the root of all my problems.
I used to be sort of little, a couple of years back. Every time I stood up too fast, my blood pressure went insane and I got dizzy. Whenever I ate more than some arbitrary amount for the day, I would run to the gym, plug in my earphones, and runrunrun. And numbers all the time. Everyone says, "you're too skinny, it's not good for you." But you know, deep inside, they're just jealous. A compliment in the form of a lecture. Society is fucked. Or maybe it's just me.
Do you ever find yourself not caring if something is hurting you or not, as long as it makes you more appealing in the eyes of others?
If you're looking for me, I'm floating in a puddle of angst and self-pity and inarticulate-ness somewhere. Still sitting here, wishing you wanted me.
Imo, if it's hurting me and not producing healthy effects, it's not worth it. And when I'm jealous, I sometimes taunt people, in a half-joking sort of way. Trufax.
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ReplyDeleteNext time I fly overseas, I'm stopping at Malaysia. xoxo